Those Kind of Talks
by RedStarsa
Summary: "If, and it was a big if, if Severus found himself attracted to another male, it would be to Lucius." - In which Severus and Lucius have every strange conversation two slightly drunk adults can have when in the presence of a two year old. - No Slash, despite its appeal.


**I don't claim to have any immense insight into either character and I'm sure in my own way I have bastardized them to hell. However I enjoy writing about these two together. I truly feel there is missed potential between them. Okay and maybe I just wanted to see Alan Rickman and Jason Isaccs on screen together. But I mean come on, they're gorgeous so whose really loosing out on this? Right also some artistic liberties in regard to when Lucius and Severus were actually in Hogwarts together. Just roll with it. Or don't, whatever. **

There were times when loneliness got the better of Severus and he had to resort to things he considered less than admirable. The first was admitting that he was actually lonely, that he desired, no, needed to interact with others. He considered himself quiet self sufficient, he had been since he was very young. So the fact that there were even sporadic moments where it had been too much to carry on his own was enough for a lifetime of self-loathing.

Despising himself or not it didn't change what he had been feeling for the past few days. He had tried desperately to distract himself but he couldn't shake away the all too human emotion. No sooner than when he had decided to stop brooding did Lucius, step out of Severus' fireplace only to find his dark friend slouching in his armchair. Severus looked up at him inquisitively, he wasn't alone. A not quite two year old Draco was perched on his father's arm that kept him close to his body.

"What are doing there?" Lucius said most curiously.

"Sitting…" Severus sat upright.

"You look rather mopey to me." Lucius declared as he took a seat across from Severus. He adjusted so that Draco was sitting in his lap now with both of his father's arms loosely around him.

"What do you want Lucius?" Although if he was honest with himself he was quiet pleased with the visit. He hadn't seen his godson in months and now berated himself for it internally.

"Always so rude, isn't he Draco?" Lucius looked down at his son who only stared back at him and then to Severus with wide eyes. "I come here out of my way I might add, to break your monotony and I'm met with aggression." Lucius added a 'Humph' with his nose tiled upwards.

"I imagine Narcissa has something to do with your random visit."

"As a matter of fact my sweet flower is ill. Not wanting Draco to befall the same fate and seeing as how he hasn't seen his godfather in ages I thought, why not cheer Severus up with a visit?"

"I suspect her illness is nothing serious."

"No no, I've had three doctors see to her and they all assure me she will recover."

"Maaaaaama!" Draco declared happily.

"Yes, yes Draco, mother will be alright." He looked back up at Severus. "So, I see you're keeping busy." Lucius raised an eyebrow.

"I'm waiting on ingredients to soak." Severus mumbled defiantly.

"Sev!" Draco clapped and wiggled around in his father's lap.

"Aww you want to see your godfather here you go." Lucius stood and plopped Draco in the very unhappy lap of Severus. "Well hold him." Lucius had no time for protest as he was already back in his chair watching Severus sit stoically and motionless with Draco. "You're a natural." Lucius said hardly hiding his sarcasm.

"Yes…"

"You should have your own." Severus shot Lucius a look that would have translated into verbal malice had Draco not been in such close proximity. "I say with all truth that having a child is the best thing that has ever happened to me, right before marrying Narcissa." Lucius settled deeper in his seat with all the smugness he could extrude. Although it wasn't meant to be callous, but his way of planting the idea in Severus' head.

"Perhaps the reason you feel this way is because you're still very much a child."

"I most certainly am not!"

"Oh really? Too bad Narcissa isn't here, she'd agree with me."

"I'm the one with a family, you're still slugging around in this depressing house, a bachelor."

"At least I work for a living."

"Can I get some blasted tea?" Lucius sighed, exhausted by the argument he had no chance of winning.

"Gods no, here." He gently placed Draco back into his father's arms. "I have some elf wine that will do much better." Severus disappeared into his kitchen.

"Fair enough." Lucius looked down at his son. "If your mother knew our quality time largely consisted of me and uncle Severus getting drunk I'd never hear the end of it. Lets keep this between us eh?"

"Sev!" Draco giggled and reached for his father's face.

"Good boy."

When Severus returned it was with two wine glasses, a dark bottle and a blanket for his godson to lay on. With the wine and glasses securely on the table between them, Severus unfolded the blanket and laid it out flatly. Lucius came to the floor and placed his son on his bottom. With his wand he summoned brightly colored blocks and Draco's stuffed dragon who he had also named Draco. Or rather when inquired by his parents the name of his animal he declared his own name proudly. Severus joined them on the floor and poured them both a glass before taking a large gulp for himself.

It had been raining on and off for most of the week but at the present this was the heaviest rainfall Cokeworth had seen in some time. The hard water pounding on the roof didn't seem to bother Draco. Rather he looked up curiously every so often especially after a rumble of thunder. After a glass, Severus tore open his black top and discarded it in exchange for the white button down he wore underneath. He leaned against his sofa still sitting on the ground watching Lucius watching Draco.

"He's brilliant you know. Always thinking, trying to build things with his blocks." His expression was subtle but Severus read the traces of pride in Lucius' eyes. "Narcissa dreads it but I can't wait until he's older. See whats inside his head." Taking comfort in that Lucius wasn't paying attention, Severus twitched a smile for a moment and let it drop.

"Will he be attending Hogwarts?"

"Most likely. I don't like it but its closer than the other schools and Narcissa will insist on that."

"You're hopeless."

"You of all people have no leniency to speak of on that matter." Lucius said curtly and without looking at his friend. Severus gave a short amused sigh, normally that sort of remark would be met with a curse flying out of his wand. But it was Lucius, his only friend now. He poured them both another glass.

"Where would you be without dear Cissy?" Severus teased.

"Oh I don't know, I have Draco, and you."

"Me?" Severus scoffed before taking another swallow. "A two year old and cynical potions professor? That isn't much I can tell you that."

"Well I hate to bring it up again but you made it out alright without Lily."

"Don't….Lucius. I can't bear to think of it." The wine seemed to help in turning his somber voice into a dull numbing sound when thinking of her.

"Fine fine. But you're wrong, I think if it were just me and Draco, you'd be excellent at…" Lucius finished his glass and held it out for another.

"At what?" Severus narrowed his eyes and cocked one brow. Lucius jiggled his glass, silently asking for more. To which Severus held hostage until he completed that thought. "Not until you tell me what you were about to say."

"I only meant that you would be another good influence on Draco. Its why you're his godfather after all." Not wholly satisfied with the answer Severus deemed he could learn more about what Luicus meant if the wine kept flowing. And flow it did. Draco had already been properly fed and was now resting peacefully on the blanket his dear uncle Severus had given him. Lucius followed suit with Severus and removed the heavy coat with only his undershirt that was unbuttoned just beyond his collar bone.

"You know…" Lucius said out of the long silence that had passed over them.

"Hn?"

"Its stressful…"

"What is?"

"Hm?"

"What is stressful?"

"I don't know Severus, what is stressful?" Frustrated Severus sat up and in a hoarse whisper, as to avoid waking up Draco, he said.

"You said 'its stressful' and just stopped."

"Oh, oh my yes." Lucius looked a bit alarmed when he suddenly remembered. "Being a father, head of a house, husband…you have it easy."

"Humph. Easy is it?" Severus snapped as he slid flat on his back. "I have to deal with eleven year olds on a daily basis, that is its own brand of torture. When I'm not doing that I have to put up with snotty teenagers who have mentally checked out of their education. At least you only have one child. I have over a hundred."

"Oh but who cares if you warp their minds, they're not your children. Everything I do and say Draco mimics like a mirror."

"I wish I could warp their minds, perhaps they'd learn something. I too, am in charge of a house you may remember, Slytherin."

"Yes yes." Lucius waved his hand dismissively. "The great house of Slytherin."

"Mostly full of hot air." Severus sighed and lazily sipped out of his glass.

"And see, I have all the confidence in you that you could still be a father and a husband if you put your mind to it." Severus opened his mouth to rebuttal but when he thought about it Lucius sort of had a point. He was in a strange, demented way, a father to not just the Slytherins but every student that walked into his classroom.

Not one who is nice and gentle but one who ensures everyone is safe and where they're supposed to be. He did find himself watching the Slytherin tables at meal times, making sure everyone was eating properly and they were all getting along. One thing he didn't have until his fifth year was Slytherin comradely. It didn't seem to him that anyone was being left out or excluded. They may be mostly pompous rich brats but at least they stuck together. On occasion when he did attend quiddich matches he felt a gleam of pride when one of his Slytherins made an impressive play, whether with individual skill or teamwork. Especially if it meant he could silently gloat over Minerva. Perhaps they were dunderheads like most of the school, but they were his dunderheads, and no one would dare cross them or it meant his wrath.

"Nothing to say Severus?"

"Why this obsession with my marital and paternal status?"

"Its made me happy, and gods know you could use some happiness in your life." Lucius shrugged.

"I wasn't aware you were ever unhappy Lucius."

"Neither did I." Lucius said quietly. "I don't think I was exactly, just…ignorant to something better. I've never tried summoning a patronus charm but if I had to I know the memory I would choose. The moment Narcissa placed my hand on her bare belly and told me that I was going to be a father." He swallowed the last bit of his wine and looked over at Draco who was still sound asleep.

"Its more powerful than anything I have." Severus admitted. What Lucius didn't know, was that he could produce a fully realized patronus. He quietly envied his friend for recognizing the stronger moments in his life. It wasn't a self involved memory that many would suspect out of Lucius Malfoy. Lucius was an ass, and only seemed to draw himself to Severus so that he could continuously poke at him until Severus was pushed too far only to reel back in a declaration of their genuine friendship. Lucius took advantage of all of his relationships, including the one with Severus. Yet he had a way about him, a way that hid in his smile and his eyes that made you forgive him instantaneously._ 'One day'_ Severus thought to himself, _'That will get him in trouble.' _

"Heres a curious thought, what do you think its like to be a woman?"

"What?" Severus was so dumbfounded not only the randomness of the question but who it came from.

"Come on, you've never thought what it would be like to have…." Lucius trailed off while his hands groped at the empty space away from his chest.

"Breasts?"

"Yes."

"No." Severus snapped back.

"Liar." Lucius rolled over and sat upright.

"What you're really saying is, _'whats it like to be Narcissa having sex with me?'_"

"Perhaps I would fancy you if I was a woman."

"Don't…" Severus wrenched his eyes shut and when they opened Lucius laughed mercilessly. The potions master snatched the bottle away from Lucius and tucked it next to him. "Don't be stupid. And no more wine for you!"

"You're no fun." Lucius whined. After all those nice and admirable things he'd thought of Lucius, now they were incinerated under the crushing weight of his childish banter. "I only meant." Lucius went on through his chuckling. "Meant it as a compliment."

"Oh fantastic I feel loads better now." Severus groaned the last bit of wine down his throat and decided he was also done with the alcohol.

"I'm just saying that you're attractive." Lucius said while trying to hold his giggling in which was barely accomplished with his lips constantly breaking into a smile.

"Come off it Lucius."

"Perhaps not conventionally so."

"Lucius…" Severus warned but his friend kept at it.

"There are…things, about you that are desirable. For one thing you're brilliant! Even funny, when you want to be."

"Thank you Lucius." Severus said with all the edge he would normally give his first years.

"I could…see myself with you."

"Now I know you're drunk. First you're talking about being a woman and now a woman whose attracted to me. Honestly isn't the first proposal enough of a nightmare?"

"What about as we are?" Lucius said with his eyebrow cocked. Severus shook his head and sighed with a bit of a smile. Everything about Lucius' posture and expression rang false. He was baiting Severus as he always did, only this time the subject was…them, together. The only way to end the conversation indefinitely was to play along.

"Lucius, we already argue like a married couple, what more would sex do?"

"Take out our aggression on each other that's for sure." Lucius tilted his glass back into his mouth and pouted when he realized it was empty. "So by your logic we're practically a couple and all we need to add is the sex, is that about right?"

"We argue like one, it doesn't mean we are one. There is more to a relationship than arguing and sex."

"And just how would you know so much about relationships?"

"I know as much it takes more than childish banter and a teenage sex drive."

"Ah." Lucius nodded to himself. "How do you think it works…?"

"Don't you recall our second year sex education class?"

"NO!" Lucius held a hand to his mouth when he realized just how loud it had come out. Draco didn't even stir. "I meant…with two men. How do they do it?" Lucius was genuinely curious. Severus became uncomfortable, and couldn't sort if it was stranger that Lucius didn't know or that he did? To him it seemed self explanatory, but this was obviously something that his affluent friend had never considered before. Perhaps that should be included in the syllabus for second years.

"Do you seriously need me to explain this?"

"Well you're the relationship and sex expert."

"I never-" Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm not doing this. I'm not spelling it out for you. Just…think about it. Where does it go in a woman?"

"Well…naturally." Lucius said, his voice coy.

"So then for a man the only option is…?" A light went on in Luicus head as his expression morphed from realization, to curiosity, slight disgust, and then back to curiosity.

"Do they really put it up there? That's…horrible. Sounds terribly painful." Severus threw up his hands and exhaled.

"Well that's how they do it." Severus declared, hoping that subject was closed indefinitely.

"Gods no I couldn't be a homosexual, not even for you Severus."

"How will I go on?" Severus droned sarcastically.

"I mean, if I had to, I guess I'd choose you."

"What insane scenario do you have running in your mind where we would be forced to be lovers?"

"I don't know." Lucius declared defiantly as if Severus should have said scenario already orchestrated and ready to be presented to Lucius so he could make sense of the conversation they were having. Or at least give it a purpose. And since it was now in his mind Severus, all be it begrudgingly imagined it. If, and it was a big if, if Severus found himself attracted to another male, it would be to Lucius.

They were friends first off. Lucius was poised, intelligent, ambitious, loyal, and most importantly when he wasn't drunk or deciding to be childish he had a wit that matched his own. Other than that Lucius had the fiercest eyes next to Lily's that Severus had ever seen. One moment they would comfort you, the next command you to his will. The worst of it was he was aware of this gift he possessed. How effective he was with that stare.

Their time in school together taught Severus that in regards to appearances they were as far at the end of each spectrum one could get. In fact their childhood and life experience would also reflect such a difference. Lucius had a never ending line of girls, from all houses, giggle as he walked by, or sigh breathlessly as they stared at him in the great hall. All of them fell prey to his charm, his voice, his confidence and those eyes.

Severus on the other hand…once he'd lost Lily's friendship it was true that he and Lucius grew closer. But that only meant the loud taunting he was used to turned into hushed whispers when he and Lucius were together. In some ways that was worse. The constant teasing and transparent insults simply changed in the execution. They were still there, in whispers that Severus could just barely make out. With Potter being the exception, when Lucius left Hogwarts everyone else ignored him. As though he were invisible. Although that would shatter if Potter riled them up enough. Thus he resided himself to loneliness. Never allowing anyone to get that close again. In the long run it didn't seem to matter though, because once Lily had died Severus died too.

"I think its time Draco and I head back. We've been here all day." Lucius slowly got to his feet and stretched his legs out before picking up his son who barely noticed and snuggled into his father's arms. Severus brought himself off the floor and onto the chair where Lucius initially found him. Feeling nothing but contempt for himself for bringing the dark memories to the forefront of his mind.

"Give Narcissa my best." He mumbled the words robotically. Surely he intended to sound genuine but his mind conquered any positive feelings at the present time.

"You know." Lucius said just as he began to step into the fireplace. "You're always welcomed at the manor." Severus scoffed. "I'm being serious."And he had been, Lucius barely expressed his hurt in Severus' dismissal of his offer.

"Despite that you invite yourself into my home on a regular basis at your leisure I can't fathom the same tolerance would be extended to me."

"Then send a damn owl before hand, smoke signal, something."

"Return to your wife Lucius. I'm sure she misses you terribly." Severus turned away using that as his goodbye he stalked down to his cellar to inspect his ingredients. Draco, who was now just barely awake reached out for his godfather.

"Sev."

"Now now Draco, lets leave your godfather to brood. He gets quite cross when I try to put him in a good mood. Besides, I'm sure mother misses us, we shant keep her in torment much longer." Lucius released the powder, allowing the green flames to engulf him and his son back to the manor.

**Soooooo that happened. I hope you enjoyed it.**

**"The weight of water, the way you told me to look passed everything I had ever learned." -Snow Patrol**


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